Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Smoking

In prior stories, Dora talked about smoking in high school. In Buddy Stories, she says she and Jan decided once to blame it on Connie Bassett's influence (bless her heart)...but Dora knew no one would come close to believing the real story. So she hid the truth for fear of ridicule. Now what most people don't know...it's one of the deep dark secrets of Forrest City... and it's going to be revealed for the first time in public on Peach Fuzz Chronicles... this will astound you... well you all recall that many people have talked about hunting for crawdads in the creeks around the elementary school...see Hank's story-- what people don't know is that it was the crawdads in the creeks of Forrest City that corrupted many young people to indulge in that nasty habit and it corrupted many youth of our city. Hank, that is why a fence was put up around the creek when your brother John started elementary school...to prevent the kids from being led into sin by those toking crawdads. Now some people go even further and say the ghosts in the Becker & Rush houses only come out when crawdads are restless from scarce butts in the creek...but that's just hearsay, you know. I think there's more credence to the rumor that UFO's were here to study the amazing smoking habits of our crawdads. There are some pitiful souls who grew up in our town that are still plagued and afflicted with crawdad tabacky fever contracted during childhood while carrousing with those swamp water lowlifes. It's Ok now, Dora, you don't have to hide your shame any longer. We caught one of those boogers red handed and have proof of it now for all the world to see the real culprit.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least this guy has the real thing. From what I remember, before we were old enough to try actual cigarettes, those trips to the creek looking for crawdads were also a chance to see what smoking was all about by trying grape vines. Linda Trimue lived close to the creek on Izard Street, and whenever I would spend the night at her house we would go down to the creek where she kept a nice stash of grape vines broken to just about the size of a finger, along with a few matches she'd slipped away from her house. Now that's something you never inhaled! We smoked until our tongues were burnt and we couldn't stand it anymore, then hid them away in an old tree for next time. I do remember seeing a crawdad there once and wondering how such a thing got there. The creeks all flowed from the natural springs in what was by that time called Stewart Springs, and I couldn't see how any water creatures could have arrived there. Imagine my surprise when I moved to Texas and found out they eat those things here by the dozen.

Thu Jul 27, 10:11:00 AM 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love that! The next time Pat lectures me about smoking I can blame it on the crawdads!!! That was so funny and so creative- loved the article and the picture of that smoking crawdad was so cool! You never cease to amaze me as to what you can do with this puter. From WHBQ cuties to smoking crawdads!!!Dora

Thu Jul 27, 04:37:00 PM 2006  
Blogger Widewader said...

I don't remember when I started smoking regularly. I guess almost everyone tried smoking grapevines and other stupid stuff like that. I remember, clearly, when I was in maybe the 9th grade, smoking two cigarettes in a row and getting deathly sick. They were Lucky Strikes. I wanted to die. I don't think I have ever felt so sick (including the flu). I remember lying on my parents bed and rolling around in agony. They weren't home, by the way. Funny thing, it wasn't enough to make me never smoke again.

I remember "quitting" a couple of weeks before football practice started in the 10th grade. One of my smoking buddies was Mike Deaderick. We smoked every time we got the opportunity. I was a ready source of cigarettes since I could sneak a carton of Winstons from Ford's Food Center without too much effort. We didn't quit before football in the 11th grade. One time, after practice, I finished getting dressed and noticed my cigarettes were gone from my coat. Mike had swiped 'em and he and Henry Heustess left in Henry's car before I was ready. I had to do without a smoke for a whole day.

I smoked for the next thirty years. Being a graphic designer, I had the opportunity to smoke over two packs a day for quite a while. I would light a cigarette and put it in the ash tray on my drawing table. In a few minutes, I would reach for it and there would be a puff or two left. I worked all night many times when I had a free-lance business. That upped my consumption considerably. About twenty years ago, I forget exactly what year, I quit on New Year's Eve and haven't smoked a cigarette since. I'm not sure about Henry, but Mike still smokes...after all these years.

I can't help but notice people standing in the heat/cold outside of buildings where they apparently work. It must be really hard smoking today...not to mention the unbelievable cost.

Tue Nov 07, 06:29:00 PM 2006  

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